


Magic & Romance Don't Mix... Until They Do

by mattzerella_sticks



Series: Blue Steel Magic [2]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: After the One-Night Stand, Arguing, Asshole John Constantine, Awkward Run-ins, Bisexual John Constantine, Bisexual Nate Heywood, Blowjobs, Cynical John Constantine, Discussions of John Constantine's past, John Constantine's POV, Library, M/M, Magic, Nate's still wearing John's tie, Passionate Nate Heywood, Self-Hating John Constantine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 04:11:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16824889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mattzerella_sticks/pseuds/mattzerella_sticks
Summary: Sequel to "Sharing a Lullaby"John hasn't seen Nate since they've slept together, and honestly he prefers it that way. Even if every nerve in his body is calling out for the other man. But what's he to do when Nate steps back onto the Waverider for another visit? Turn him away or finally let him in the door?





	Magic & Romance Don't Mix... Until They Do

**Author's Note:**

> So I couldn't stay away!!!! I really like this pairing and the idea hit me just as fast as the original did!
> 
> Hope y'all enjoy!!
> 
> Edit - 12/10/18: I had to! Now that we have the full story with Desmond I needed to course correct!!  
> I love Desmond, and I think he and John were sweet together. But that doesn't mean I'm abandoning ship on this series. That's why I updated the fic, set it AFTER the mid-season finale, and am working on a third part that will really fire things off. My original plans have been tweaked!!

John made a mistake. It’s not a rare event, in fact quite the opposite. He’s most famous for his errors and missteps. He’s trapped in a never-ending cycle of following bad instincts, each worse than the last. Continuously digging into an even deeper grave. In his drunkest moments, John’s even categorized and ranked them. Although he’ll have to re-do those lists, placing ‘Sleeping with Nate’ right at number three in his top ten. He even ranks it higher than 'Destroying Space-Time'. And after a week since that mess, he still hasn't been able to push it lower. He fixed time. John can't go back and _not_ sleep with Nate.

' _I probably could, but would I want to..._ ' He still thinks about it. The way Nate felt beside him; heavy, solid, grounding him in the present. The silky smoothness of his skin under his own rough touch, how he smelled fresh and untouched by the constant smoke that clings to John like a damned ball and chain. Even his laugh rings like bells in his periphery every time he let his guard down. All of it haunts John, reminding him that he’s drunk from the chalice of the gods, tasted their sweet ambrosia. John had only scratched that itch to escape from the memories of Desmond. But now he’s thirsty for more.

‘ _No one knows how to torture you like **you** do, Johnny_,’ he thinks, flipping through an ancient tome, ‘ _And you are **bloody** good at it._’

John tried all he could to stop remembering. He visited different pubs all across history, trying his best to sex Nate out of his mind. It never worked. Either he couldn’t get it up with his partner, or the only way he could finish was pretending Nate was the one under him. ' _And I thought impotence was a worse curse..._ '

Drinking didn’t help either. He was left dehydrated, hung-over, and still thinking about the other man.

‘ _Maybe I’d have an easier time if everyone would stop bringing him up around here?_ ’

Now with the Charlie fiasco over with, the taboo on Nate’s name has been lifted. And he’s been referenced more than fuck in any of their ex-shape shifter friend’s music. Ray the worst offender, every time he babbled about Nate only stoking the fires of John’s desire to punch him. It had already been simmering around a seven, but in recent days has pitched to about a nine.

His only saving grace is that his job at the Bureau keeps him away. John has only left the ship a handful of times in the year 2018 since sleeping with Nate and one was to sneak back into the other man's place and steal back his tie. When he saw it was nowhere amongst Nate's laundry, John scampered back and strictly avoided leaving the Waverider unless they were ten years in any direction if flying the skies of Washington, D.C.

Except Nate’s job isn’t a twenty-four hour gig. He can still take breaks, have nights and weekends off, and use his little gadget to visit the Legends’ home whenever he pleased.

Which was now, apparently.

He’d been enjoying a nice sandwich by his lonesome in the kitchen when John first heard their voices. At first he assumed it was another annoying memory, breaching the surface of peace to splash around and ruin it. But then it got louder, and didn’t fade away like it usually did. Then Ray started speaking, and so did Zari.

‘ _Bloody hell… **why**?’_

The three of them walk in, all laughing, and John watches them from the counter. Ray has his arm around Nate’s shoulders, his ever-present tablet in his other hand stretched out, formulas and bar graphs plainly visible. Zari is on the other side of Nate, her hands stuffed into her pockets, knocking into him with every step. And in the middle, with an almost heavenly light shining on his face, is his living nightmare.

“Oh, hey John!” Ray waves to him, dragging all their attention to him, “Didn’t know you were out and about?”

John forces a tight smile onto his face, gulping down his bite. “Of course,” he says, “a wizard’s gotta eat sometimes, mate.” He pointedly rakes his eyes over Nate, raising a brow at his accessory. ‘ _At least now I know where my tie is_.’ “So, what’s the Prodigal Son doing back here?”

“Slow day at the office,” Zari tells him, bumping her elbow into Nate’s stomach, “It was either visit or hang around with Gary.”

Ray snorts. “And with him mooning over Mona that would be even _less_ fun.” Then he freezes, glancing at John with a flash of pity. “Oh, sorry I… I didn’t mean to…”

John rolls his eyes. “It’s all right there, mate, no hard feelings on my end. Gary was just a fun time, that’s all – all _I’m_ good for anyway. Show ‘em a special time and leave… that’s what I say.” He’s eyeing Nate, waiting for his response. A mixture of disappointed glee swirls in his chest at the frown he shoots John’s way.

“Well,” Zari shrugs, “ _that’s_ depressing.”

“Oy! That’s my life you’re talking about sweetheart!”

“Anyway,” Ray says, clapping, “as much fun as no strings attached relationships are to talk about, we should probably get going.”

John looks at him now. “And where are you lot off to?”

“We’re going through Gideon’s software, see if there’s any more updates we can plug in,” Zari tells him, “Maybe give her some hair.”

Gideon chimes in at this. “I would love to see how I’d look with the Rachel or a… Mohawk!”

Ray’s face light up at that; “I don’t know which one is cooler…”

Zari rolls her eyes, reaching across to grab at Ray’s wrist and dragging him away. She looks over her shoulder at Nate, still standing there. “Nate? You coming?”

“In a bit,” he says, locked in on John, “I didn’t get a chance to grab lunch before stopping by.” The others glance between them, and Ray starts, as if to protest. But then Nate turns on his heel and towards the fridge, halting any further conversation.

“All right…” Ray says, hurt, “you can eat in the lab…”

“It won’t be long!”

Head buried inside the fridge, Nate rummages around until Zari and Ray take their leave, albeit reluctantly. He’s still there, playing with the food inside, even though he and John are the only two in the kitchen. ‘ _Completely alone…_ ’ “Oy, love, they’re _gone_.”

Nate peeks out at him, smiling. “Good.”

“Good? Is that anyway to speak about your _friends_ …”

He rolls his eyes, taking the stool next to John. Their arms brush up against each other, and John nearly scoots himself back at the touch, too nice to be anything but trouble. “I love them, don’t get me wrong but… uh –“ Nate wrings his hands together, “ – I really needed to talk to _you_ and I’d… um, rather nobody else be here for that.”

“Why?” John asks, stuffing his face with more of his sandwich, “Too _emvaraffed_ to be _sfeen_ _wif_ me?”

Nate scowls, crumb dust hanging in the air; “No,” he says, “but I figured you would appreciate the privacy as much as I do.”

“You’ve been here longer than I have, love. Should know privacy’s a rare commodity on this bloody ship.”

“Which means we don’t have a long time…” His eyes dart over quickly to the doors, careful apprehension bubbling underneath. “To… _talk_.”

“Talk?” John parrots, smile large and fake, “Oh! You mean about how I jerked us off –“

“John!”

“What?” he asks, feigning innocence with a tongue-in-cheek smirk, “That’s what you wanted to talk about, innit? I’m just cutting straight to the point.” He’s flustered, Nate’s tanned skin taking on a reddish tint due to John’s teasing. His fingers are splayed on the counter, rubbing it rhythmically, and all it reminds John of is how they looked scratching through his scalp. ‘ _Always end up burning yourself in the end, don’t ya?_ ’

Nate pouts. “Are you always this cold to the people you’ve slept with?”

‘ _It’s for his own good, John… remember this_.’ “No, just the ones I have no intention of repeating any performances with.” This shocks the other man, Nate’s head whipping up to gape at him, slack jawed.

“What?”

“Do ya got steel for brains, too or do I have to repeat myself?”

“This is… what the _fuck_ , John?” He’s struck a nerve, if the tremor of Nate’s lip or the fury tucked under his brow. It all makes John’s heart ache, but he pushes it down like every other emotion he has for all the years he’s been alive.

‘ _Nothing good ever comes from lettin’ those buggers make my decision…_ ’

“Was it bad?” Nate asks, “Because, if I remember correctly, you and I had a great time. We _cuddled_.”

“It was an exchange,” John waves him off, focusing on his empty plate now, “I told you my offer. I got what I wanted, can cross the experience off my list and move on. And I suggest you do the same, don’t need to be the _new_ Amaya – that’s what Charlie’s here for.” John knows it was a low blow, could feel the words tearing open the poorly stitched wound Nate’s been nursing. The gasp stabs John in the gut.

“So that’s it then?” Nate asks, “You’re just going to pretend nothing happened between us?”

“Denial _is_ part of my charm,” John pushes up from his seat, forcing a smirk at Nate. “Anyway, I must be off – research to do, that sort of thing. Go meet up with the nerds in the lab, or maybe take a page out of Gary’s book and _move on_. It’s for the best, love.” He can’t look behind, to see how he’s left Nate. John suspects any sight of a frown would shatter his already fractured mask.

Instead he scurries away towards the library – a safe space of sorts for him. The first day on the Waverider, he claimed it as his. He knows it’s a false blanket of security, the library belonging to the man he’s running from long before it came under his ownership. But he’s done his best to make it his own, although savoring a few touches from its prior master. It’s a veritable hodgepodge of history and the occult. At some times he doesn’t know where his knickknacks end and Nate’s begin. In all his worry to not let anyone else suffer the same fate as his Desmond, he unconsciously started ensnaring another poor soul into his hellish widow's web. ‘ _You really are at a lost to this whole letting go thing, John_.’

But he’s not the only one. Nate barely left him a minute of silence before barging into the library. “Oy! What did I tell you – “ Nate ignores him, locking the door behind them, “ – oh, great! What was that for?”

“I said I came here to talk,” Nate tells him, “And you _clearly_ don’t want to. No chance of disappearing now.”

“I could say a spell,” he teases, smirking, “send you back off this ship, myself somewhere far away. What’s stopping me from doing that?”

Nate rises to the challenge, stepping closer to John until they’re an arms length apart from each other. “You won’t, not if I ask you to.” He’s said it so softly, John strained to hear it.

His words strengthen his flight instinct, and the itch to use his magic irritates. But, to his dismay, Nate’s right. All fight drains out of him, then, and John slumps onto a nearby chair. “All right, fine. What is it you got to say, love?”

Nate flexes his hand, his skin glinting in the low light. John spies how tan and silver interplay, as if he’s using his powers to distract from his nervousness. “Before, in the kitchen, I wanted to… I wanted to tell you that what we shared that night was… _fun_. That I really did enjoy it and, even though you made it clear you wouldn’t be there in the morning I was… still, strangely _disappointed_.”

“My skills are a _curse_ –“

“Could you please not interrupt,” Nate asks, scowling, “you’re only making me rethink what I’m about to say.”

‘ _Well isn’t that the point_?’ Unwilling to further anger him, John concedes with a shrug and open palms, allowing Nate to continue.

“Where was I? Waking up… disappointed, okay – and afterwards, I thought ‘maybe I could move on’. I didn’t want to be pining after someone so soon after Amaya, but I think that’s just how I’m… I’m wired? Because I tried, and no one made me feel the way you did when we were together. And I’m betting you felt the same.”

‘ _Bloody stubborn this one is_.’ “You’re clearly looking for something that isn’t there, love –“

“Sara told us about you,” Nate interrupts, “Always trying to be a loner. Not much of a team player. Kind of had to when she came to us with the idea to have you join the team.”

“So how do you know this is different than my _winning_ personality?”

“You’re trying too hard. Pushing me away, avoiding me – not even _calling_. Trying to force me to move on like you did with Gary.”

“You saw how long he was pining after me? It was pathetic and a waste of his time. Tryna save you the effort, love –“

“And you keep calling me love,” Nate says, closing the distance even further, his hand reaching out to touch John’s. He doesn’t flinch. “You could have used mate like you do with all the others, show you’re really over it – but you still call me _love_.”

“…Dammit.” Nate is nothing if not perceptive. John thought his little verbal slip would go unnoticed. Figured he could play it off as something common. But there’s no chance of lying with the lightning in Nate’s eyes and the thunder rolling off his shoulders.

“The only thing I can’t understand is… _why_?” Nate tightens his grip on John’s wrist. “Why are you doing this?”

“I think I made it pretty clear during our night together, love, _magic_ and _romance_ don’t go together.” John needs to do this. If Nate doesn’t understand, he could end up like every other person who thought they could get too close to him without getting burned. ‘ _Like Chas… Zed… especially **Desmond**_.’ “I can’t give you what you want. I’m too deep within the world of magic to ever try for… _normal_ ; it _changes_ you – _corrupts_. You walk out the other side with new nightmares, if you walk out at _all_. If this _were_ to work you’d have to step into _my_ life… and I’d never ask that of you.”

It’s the truth, _his_ truth. But Nate can’t seem to accept it. “Who do you think you are telling me what I can and can’t handle?”

“Someone who’s seen it happen again and again.”

“But what if this time it’s different.”

John’s chokes on a gasp, Nate’s face flashing out of focus, replaced with Desmond's own face. He said those same words, years ago. “That’s… they all say that. It’s never different.”

“But can all of them turn into steel?” In an instant, the metal slides over Nate’s skin. He still has John’s wrist in a stranglehold, and his casing cools his already too-warm skin. “John, I’m not asking you for anything more than what I’m willing to offer. It’s not marriage; hell it’s not even a house out in the suburbs. What I _want_ is to get to know you better, explore this… _thing_ between us. Maybe you leave an extra toothbrush and I can borrow more ties so I’m not stuck using _this_ one.”

‘ _That… is a **tempting** offer_.’ John considers it. Imagines waking up next to Nate, in no rush to leave because he’s not _running_ from anyone. Ponders a possibility in which Nate _accepts_ John for all that he is – his shortcomings, his flaws, and all his potential for disappointment. And even after all that they still come out stronger. What he almost had with Desmond until Neron appeared. But the shadow he’s lived with for most of his life still hangs heavy over him. “And if we can’t make it work?”

“Then at least we tried,” Nate tells him, “I’m _sick_ and _tired_ of letting go because of the what ifs. I say fuck them. We can take whatever comes at us.”

“There’s that _confidence_ again.” John finally smiles, laughing, “You remember what I said about that?”

“That you thought it was _sexy_?”

“Almost as sexy as you in _my_ tie…” He reaches forward, gently brushing a finger up and down the fabric. “You’ve been wearing it a lot?”

Now, Nate blushes. “It… it made me feel nice.”

“Makes me feel nice, too. Why _I_ wear it.” John decides his next move in that instant. “Although I’m sure I can… _part_ with a few more, if you really love them.”

“Do you – do you really mean that?”

“Wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t, love.” And he does. Nate’s suggestion was the kind of bad decision John’s addicted to. He’ll get his fill of the other man for as long as he can, before Nate realizes what a mistake it was to let John into his life. He just hopes it’s not long enough for his poisonous roots to take hold. Once they sink in, it’ll hurt even worse.

“I – uh… _great_!” Nate grins, “I… I can’t believe we’re doing this.”

John raises a brow. “You were the one who was so gung-ho a minute ago?”

“I was in the moment and –“ he rubs a hand across the back of his neck “ – I didn’t let myself hope that you’d be so willing to let your guard down.”

“It’s not down, love, not in the slightest” John says, “We’re in a sort-of… trial run.”

“And when that’s over with?”

“…Let’s see how far we get with that, all right love?”

“Okay.” Nate moves his hand from his neck to John’s, fingers toying with the hair along his nape. His other hand was still around John’s wrist, but his thumb started brushing against his pulse point. “And our… _arrangement_ … allows for certain activities?”

“Didn’t think you were offering _chastity_ , love.”

“So you’d be okay if we…”

John smirks. “I see… _that’s_ why you locked the door?”

“It was a multi-phase plan,” Nate says, “Get you alone, test the waters, have a little _fun_. _You_ had to throw a few kinks in it by being a little shit.”

“But kinks make everything more _interesting_ , love.” He snorts, dropping his head against John’s shoulders, shaking with laughter.

“Christ,” he says, “How can you switch between moods so fast? You were so serious before and now you’re making innuendos like nothing was wrong.”

“It’s a little bit like your steel trick,” John tells him, “It’s how _I_ survive.”

“I think I like it better when you’re making sex jokes.” He kisses him then, capturing any retort John may have had within his lips. John surrenders to the heat of the moment, letting Nate’s touch wipe away any and all doubt in his mind. The inner light and beauty of him outshines any darkness hiding within John.

John’s hands twitch, sliding up to grip Nate’s arms. Nate moves the hand on his wrist over to his chest, and pushes John back. John complies, walking until his knees hit the back of a chair. “You want me to sit?”

Nate nods. “Been thinkin’ bout this – our next time together. Something I wanted to try…”

“I won’t stop you then.” John sinks down into the seat, staring up at Nate with a devilish grin on his face. “I’d love to see what you’ve got… _love_.”

He nearly loses it when Nate drops to his knees. He places both hands on John’s thighs, leaning forward to capture his lips in another passionate kiss. Pulling away, Nate beams at him. “I think you’ll be impressed.”

“That so?”

“I’ve been practicing,” he says, fiddling with John’s pants, “Watched a video or two. Even went out and bought a…” he trails off, more focused with tugging at his underwear than finishing his sentence.

John needles him on. “Bought a what? A book? A tutor? A _dildo_?”

“No, no!” Nate’s head whips up, bright red. “Not – I didn’t buy – it was a _zucchini_.”

“A what?”

“It’s sort of like a cucumber.”

“Well why didn’t you buy a bloody cucumber, then?”

“…I didn’t want it to be _obvious_ ,” Nate admits, “When someone walks out with only a cucumber everyone knows what they’ll be doing later…”

“Making a salad?”

Nate huffs, exposing John’s crotch after a lengthy struggle. “Shut up already, will you?” John goes to make another quip, but loses any semblance of thought as Nate dives headfirst onto his cock, tongue pressed against its underside.

John hardens considerably, growing inside Nate’s warm mouth. The other man gags, and pulls back up slightly. He apologizes, “Been awhile, love.” Nate doesn’t remove himself, instead sucking deeply at the head of his cock, hand reaching for the slick base, pumping it.

Nate works them into a great rhythm. Bobbing up and down on John’s cock, applying gentle pressure whenever he can. His tongue runs up his cock slit, sending an earthquake of pleasure rumbling through John’s body. Nate hums, trailing the fingers of his other hand up John’s chest. He slips them in past the buttons and plays with one of his nipples.

“ _Ooohhhh_ … what bloody video taught you all this, then?”

He doesn’t respond, instead twisting both nipple and cock as he hollows out his cheeks. John releases a litany of curses under his breath at the technique. It’s a few more pumps before he’s spraying his load down Nate’s throat.

Nate chokes, pulling back while John fucks into his face. “Oh, God,” he says, mouth full of spunk as he gets sprayed with more by an out of control cock.

John slumps over, spent. “Sorry, love, it just came out of nowhere –“

“Not nowhere – in my _mouth_ , _aww_ ,” Nate spits into his hands, “This tastes so _awful_. How do people swallow this stuff? It’s like we were using an old gym sock as a condom.”

“Really know how to make a guy feel special.” John snaps his fingers, magicking the come away like the last time. It disappears, but Nate still clicks his tongue in disgust. He rolls his eyes, “Come on, love, let me give you something _better_ to taste.” John reaches out for Nate, helping him onto his lap before pulling him into a searing kiss.

With every press of their lips, John feels himself falling more into the Nate-sized hole that’s being carved into his heart. His presence sweeping the ground up from underneath John’s feet and swallowing him whole. And any paths back aboveground collapsing after him. Back when they were cuddling on that first night, John could feel the slightest twinge of happiness.

That’s how he knew Nate was trouble. John Constantine and happiness walked parallel paths. And any time it looked like they may cross, reality stepped in and course corrected. And the consequences were always tremendous, and hurt everyone John surrounded himself with.

He thought being a magician was his calling, a way to give back. That poor little girl’s face as she was dragged into hell made it clear magic was nothing more than a curse. And Desmond… John thought maybe he could walk away. But the claws of the occult never let go without a fight.

Although John’s nails are just as sharp. Nate seemed like his life was finally being put in order, and he won’t let any of his chaos seep into it. He failed with Desmond. Clung so tight he tore through the other man's heart, and helped the darkness pour into him. Spends a little time every day wallowing, wishing for a second chance. ' _Maybe this could be it?_ ' Neron will have to work twice as hard now that he knows they're there. Especially now that he’s part of a team – his demons don’t scare him like they used to.

‘ _Maybe things **can** be different…_’ 

* * *

Zari clicks through the different hairstyles, shuffling them on and off Gideon’s head while Ray paces behind her. They’ve been playing ‘salon’ with their on-board AI for over an hour now, still waiting for Nate to come find them.

“Ray,” she says, “could you _please_ sit down?” Zari has stopped playing with her laptop, Gideon sporting some fancy pigtails.

He skids to a halt, pouting. “But he should have been here by now? He said it wouldn’t be that long!”

“Well, maybe he got called back to the Bureau?”

“He wouldn’t have left without saying goodbye.” 

“But what if it was _urgent_.”

Ray almost responds, but Gideon steps in then. “I can report that Mr. Heywood has not left the Waverider.”

He beams at her, “Why thank you Gideon.”

“Okay, fine, he’s still here,” Zari sighs, shutting the laptop and, with it, Gideon’s new hairstyle. It fritzes before she returns to her normal, bald look. “Gideon, could you please tell us _where_ Nate is, then?”

“He’s in the library.”

“Figures,” Ray says, “I bet he was on his way but got distracted. I’ll just swing on over and get him –“

“It’d be best if you don’t, Dr. Palmer,” Gideon informs him, “Mr. Heywood is, at this moment, indisposed.”

Ray and Zari glance over at each other, confused. “Indisposed, Gideon?” Zari asks, “Could you be a little clearer?”

“He’s in the library with Mr. Constantine,” she says, “and they’re –“

“John!” Ray says, “Of course, they were in the kitchen together. He probably had a few questions about some historical stuff and they lost track of time.”

Zari shakes her head. “No, with Constantine, it’s more likely he bragged about making the library his own space and Nate’s trying to do damage control, and they’re fighting over ‘which book goes _where_ ’!”

“I can assure you, they’re –“

“It’s okay Gideon,” Zari cuts her off, “Just let Nate know that if he needs us we’ll be in our rooms.” She leads Ray out of the lab, leaving Gideon floating in the empty space.

“Of course, Miss Tomaz,” she says, “Once Mr. Heywood and Mr. Constantine are finished with their intimate entanglement, I shall inform him at once.”

**Author's Note:**

> Did ya like??
> 
> I had loads of fun writing it (even though it took much longer than the first one...)
> 
> Anyway... there might be mooooore!!!!!


End file.
